On Friday, our caseworker called to tell us about a potential adoption situation. The caseworkers have to call adoptive couples to explain any difficulties in the situation and to get specific approval to show the profile (photos, a letter to birth moms, and information about our family) to the potential birth mom. In the past 16 months since we have been approved by LDS Family Services, this has happened four times for us. There are other ways to be chosen by birth moms, but that will have to wait for another post. Anyway, the caseworkers try to get about 10 couples that they feel would be a good match for the birth mom, and then they show the profiles to her. In two of the situations that we were called about, we knew that it wasn't the right situation for us. In the other two, we felt like it would be a great thing if those birth moms chose us. So, this call on Friday was one of the good ones. We really liked what we heard about this birth mom and baby. We gave our approval and then waited about 24 hours to finally hear that she had chosen someone else. It's really hard not to get your hopes up in these situations. I mean, if you don't get excited about a potential adoption, than you must not be that excited about adoption in general, I think. Or maybe I'm just more emotional than most people. Anyway, I was disappointed. I was so happy when I got an email from my friend Jill reminding me that she was coming to pick me up to take me to the Relief Society Broadcast. As I sat there surrounded by friends in that meeting, I was overwhelmed by the love and support that I feel from these good women in my neighborhood. After the meeting, I came home and started feeling sad again. You know how everything always seems worse in the middle of the night? Well, I couldn't sleep, and I woke up with a migraine. I get migraines now and again, especially when I've been under a lot of stress. Now that my migraine is subsiding, I'm left with a peaceful feeling that it's still in the Lord's hands, and He is aware of our situation and loves us. I still don't know when that wonderful day when we get THE phone call will come, but I'm confident that it will happen when it's supposed to happen.
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I can't imagine what a roller coaster of emotions you must go through all the time. Thanks for sharing it, though. Hang in there. You are loved.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea that you were having a hard day that day. I wish I'd known; I'd have brought you some cupcakes or something!:) OK, so maybe sugar and chocolate wouldn't fix it. I'm glad you came to the broadcast with us all. I love having you for a friend; who else would have donned cat glasses and a HP professor costume for me? lol I know you'll get your baby one day. I have kept your names on the temple prayer list every time we go, so it'll come! We love you guys and pray for you; any baby would be so lucky to grow up in your home.
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