Adoption Language

We listened to a great talk at church today about repentance and not offending others. One of the points was that while the person who originally offends is at fault and needs repentance, the same is true of the person who chooses to become offended. And obviously, we all find ourselves on both ends of that equation from time to time.

While I was listening to the talk, I couldn't help but think about the words people sometimes use when talking about adoption. Although people seldom mean to offend others, they sometimes do based on ignorance. As for me, I don't think I'm easily offended by people using the wrong phrases while referring to adoption, especially since I have been known to slip up myself. But I know other people who have been hurt by the words used to describe their families. So, to help everyone out, I'm posting a link to some "Positive Adoption Language" recommended by LDS Family Services. One example from this list is referring to a child by saying that "she is adopted." The preferred tern is "she was adopted." The reason for this is that adoption is an event, not a condition.

Now that I've posted this list, you don't need to get all paranoid if you talk to us about adoption. As for our family, we are pretty open about discussing our decision to adopt, and there isn't much you can say accidentally to offend us. There may be a few things about our situation that are too personal to discuss with just anyone, but we'll be upfront and tell you that.  Hope you find this information helpful!